Living and Dying
by narutofanforever101
Summary: Derek is the son of Alistair and Lyna. But Alistair left when Lyna spared Loghain. Lyna is now a delirious wreck, Derek searches for his father while she dies only to have them both die. A Grey Warden sends him back to the past but he ends up too far.


**"Forever Together, Your Rose" that's what the engraving on the ring said. My father gave it to my mother in Denerim. That's the engraving she chose. He said he loved her but I hardly believed it. After she spared Loghain he left, telling her he hated her. That broke her heart, she began dying. He knew she was two months pregnant with me, Wynne was surprised the depression didn't kill me. She killed Loghain later on even when he did the Dark Ritual, she wanted father more than anything.**

I carried my tin can and my papers.

"I'm going to play in the pub." I told my mother.

"Hurry back, Derek." My mother spoke, her voice weakened.

"I will."

**My mother was a Dalish Elf, with pale blond hair, green eyes and peach. I have pale blonde hair, grey eyes of my father and tan skin like him. I wish I didn't look like him, because everything is his fault.**

I bid my mother farewell and go into Lothering.

**When my mother was in Redcliffe** **she taught herself to play piano, she played one song once and she always remembered it**.

"Ello' Derek, came to play Midnight Sky again? You know it's a crowd pleaser." The bar man said to me.

"Yes." I replied.

**She always remembered it because that's the day he gave her the rose.**

I jumped on the piano and hit a few cords to warm up.

**She taught me the piece as well when I was three.  
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"Alright folks, my name is Derek. I'm here to play a little piece, feel free to give tips."

**I always remembered it because that's the day she stopped walking.**

I started playing, my fingers moving like water. The patron's ears listening in pleasure.

**It was one of the ways I made money for mother, I had to take care of her all her life she was bedridden. That's for three more years, I'm six now. My father hasn't even made a hint to my mother that he missed her or that he was even still alive.**

My playing turned more impressive, some patrons tossed silvers and coppers into my tin can.

**I hope he's dead. I hope he died slowly and will wander the Fade forever.**

I begin to make the keys quicker, the piece sounding like I have multiple hands. The crowd was going wild, some threw out a solverign or two.

**Why does my mother yearn for this man? He's the thing that's killing her.**

I finish the piece, the tavern cheers. I pick up my over flowing tin can and bow and walk out.

**He's killing you mother, I hope you killed him.**

"Alistair!" I heard my mother's voice yell. She's been very delirious ever since my father left. I walked into the house, not bothering to proclaim my arrival, and went to mother's room. Leliana was tending to her.

"Lyna please, don't pain yourself. He's gone. I'm sorry." Leliana tried to help.

"He's here...Alistair's always here...He's happy, we belong together. He's back, hello Alistair." my mother gobbled.

"Mother stop thinking about that bastard! He's the reason your like this! If he hadn't left you everything would be alright! You have to face the real facts!" I yelled.

"Derek!" Leliana scolded.

"No, your father's here. I know your angry with him but please make up. He hates when you're like this." She blabbered.

"He's not here! He's never here nor he will ever be here! He abandoned you! I hope he's dead! And if he isn't dead I hope he's dying! I hope he dies slowly and it hurts! It hurts with the pain he gave us!" I cursed.

"Apologize to your father!"

"Never!"

"Derek let's go. You know how your mother is when she gets like this." Leliana said leading me out of my mother's room. She sat out in the rose garden with me, trying to calm me.

"Why?" I cried kicking the wall.

"Derek please-" Leliana tried to speak.

"No! Everything is his fault! He's a terrible person!"

"He wasn't always so terrible! He was once a good man that wanted nothing but to be together forever with your mother!"

"But he gave her up just because she was merciful! She was being good and he left her because of that!"

"Derek he killed his father figure and his brother."

"You also tried to stop him from leaving! You and everyone even Zevran, Sten and Shale! Mother even tried to to remind him about me! His unborn baby and he left anyway!"

"Derek... I know. But saying things like that in front of your mother, it won't let her get any better."

"I don't think she'll get any better while he's still gone."

"We've tried to find him, I think Wynne found him but she died because of her weakened spirit before she could reach us."

"Poor Wynne, my mother couldn't even go to the funeral."

"Listen Derek, do whatever you can for your mother to feel better. All of us will, even if it means playing along with her illusions."

"Yes Leliana." I walked back into my mother's room. She was sitting there, talking to "father" and looking worried.

"I know Alistair, he's just a boy... He's going through a phase... I don't think he'll run away... If he does you'll find him, right love? I knew I could count on you Alistair." She blabbered.3

"Mother... Father." I spoke.

"Do you have something to say, Derek Theirin?"

"I'm sorry father."

"He forgives you, can you please make us some tea dear? And can you get some cheese for Alistair... You already ate? That's alright, just tea for you and me dear."

"Yes mother."

"I love you."

"I love you too mother."

"And?"

"I love you too father."

**But that wasn't true.**


End file.
